You experience a haunting sense of emptiness all your life. In an attempt to fill this incompleteness you depend on people for your happiness. Thus the starting point is faulty. Merge with Atman, the Spirit within, and all differences vanish. You exult in the experience of the One in the many. You see yourself in all beings and all beings in the Self. Just as you admire your images in different mirrors.
Do you have conflict with the people you love most? Do you experience incredible highs followed by the invariable lows in your relationships? Have the days of wine and roses become days of whine and neuroses?
Love tainted with selfishness is ‘attachment’. Then it is only about you. You expect a return for your affection – tangible or intangible. You make demands on people and bind them. You feel insecure, vulnerable and threatened. Your expectations never seem to be met with. The more people do for you, the more you want. The relationship thus becomes conflict-ridden. In the end, it breaks down and you lose the person.